I have not loved often in my life. I think it might be because it feels much safer not to. As a child and teenager I spent ages reading romantic novels and fantasized about them, but I was also very shy. So when I liked someone, I never acted on it. Just fantasized, and in some way that was enough-living in this perfect fantasy world.
I´ve had several crushes in my life, but only one love which ended in divorce. It was a gigantic collapse, my heart was broken, no trust was left, and I was an open wound for some time. With time, the wound has begun to heal, but the fear is still there and stays there. When I see someone I like I´ve already divorced him before anything happens. I look away just to to be safe.
On the other hand, I know this is silly thinking. I don´t have to get married on the first date. I don´t regret that I loved and met my husband, and I don´t regret experiencing the things I did because it made me the person I am today. I don´t regret it because he gave me three amazing children, who are growing so fast now.
Honestly, when writing this, trying to convince myself not to be afraid, I catch my self thinking the opposite. When digging a bit further, I recognize that there is another, deeper feeling hidden from others and even me. The feeling of being in control, being strong and independent, not letting anything or anybody take that away from me, not showing vulnerability or trust. I could be ashamed, hurt or happy? I don´t know, and I will never know for sure unless I let these feelings happen.
Why do I write about this? It is because a really good friend of mine almost died of laughter when reading my quote about love. She felt it rather ironic coming from me. To be honest, I wrote the quote to myself about what I´ve learned along the way. People are the same. We are all afraid of being hurt or being too vulnerable or too open. To open your heart for another person you take a risk, but you might also win the lottery.
As I say to myself, I say to you: - Don´t be afraid to love or be loved!
Love and hugs, Hulda
“Love catches you unaware, turns you upside down and takes over. It’s unpredictable, delightful, beautiful. Love takes on many forms and is necessary to life. Don’t be afraid of love!“ - Hulda
Here you can find my quote, Love on numerous products: